Here I am again, writing from a paradise on Orcas Island
I came across a few weeks ago to this article that spoke deeply to my experience in the world as being overweight and at times obese. I am not sure how relevant this is to all of you but it is very much for me so I felt called to share as weight is certainly a recurring theme in our society.
This is the mail I just sent to my aunt and mom, highly struggling their whole life with weight control and abused by their romantic partners and who knows who else.
This article I am sharing was really revealing to me as I highly struggled my whole life with weight, obesity and how I am seen by others because of that. From violin teachers telling me I have to loose weight to have any chance to improve my skills or have success, classroom mates calling me "botolo" and writing it on my violin case, doctors accusing me of negligence and inviting me to eat more protein (meat) as a solution, to lovers controlling my eating habits trying to get me to loose weight and shaming me if I would eat the thing I “was not allowed to” - this article speaks deeply to the phobia of society about fat and how fat is being highly shamed in our culture making us feeling unworthy and wrong. https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/everything-you-know-about-obesity-is-wrong/Even more it speaks about how we tend to judge others that are fat as much as we judge our selves, breaking that tender line of support and love for our fellow. I don’t think there is any topic I have heard more judgment coming from than fat - hearing things said to me from beloveds : talking about how fat and ugly a person is and how she dares to dress in a certain way and when I would point out the fact the I am as fat as that person hearing comments such as well but that is not how I see you, I see beyond your body, you are more beautiful that your body and things like that. No, fuck that, I am not more beautiful than my body, my body is beautiful no matter how fat it is and it’s mirroring my whole me, why would I neglect it? To support a sick culture that demonize some kind of population. Why do I even spend time with somebody that would see as beautiful only my mind but not accept, cherish and love my whole?If you get to read it please let me know what you think about it - it’s quite long but worth it.Here a picture of me while painting naked on the beach I have never shared a picture of my naked body and I think its part of my process of claiming my outer beauty as much as my inner one - just exactly how I am now. Thank you beautiful woman for creating a safe container for me to open and blossom Each woman group and each encounter between us has been profound and nourishing.